Trying To Conceive or Pregnant While Plus Size?
***Disclaimer: Before I go any further… I do not sell any diet products… This post is not about weight loss- if you know me… I think we can agree I am no personal trainer or wellness coach. Nor do I pretend to be… and none of the above will be discussed in this post- assuming you weren’t looking for a lose 50lbs quick scheme… Read On.***
I’ve been there ladies… A provider telling you that you may never get pregnant- surely that you will never have a healthy pregnancy because you are plus size? That it could even be dangerous for yourself and your baby? I remember one person even saying “how selfish of you to even consider getting pregnant with your weight?”
It stings doesn’t it? I know. No, really- I KNOW ALL TOO WELL. 2.5 years ago I was starting my first IVF Cycle… Diagnosed with PCOS 10 years ago- I knew this time would come and let me tell you… We all know how heartbreaking infertility can be for ANY woman trying to conceive… (If you don’t know- I and many others can tell you all about the heartbreak of a negative pregnancy test when you have been trying to conceive for months or maybe even years… Hell- I think I should own STOCK in First Response by now…) I remember being told by friends and family alike so many hurtful things in the beginning that by the time the cycle started- I was closed off. I stopped telling anyone what we were doing or TRYING to do and suffered in silence. I remember thinking “because I am overweight I don’t deserve children? Is that REALLY what people think??”
And despite knowing all that we do- instead of treating these women like goddesses- we fat shame the ones who are overweight. Talk about adding insult to injury! With all of the “sensitivity training” and “political correctness” we practice as a society… This is one area where we need SERIOUS IMPROVEMENT- We can do better by these women and mothers.
*~*THEY SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE THE GORGEOUS FEMALE BADASSES THAT THEY ARE AND WE SHOULD BELIEVE IN THEM AND THEIR ABILITY TO BIRTH JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!*~*
Fast forward a couple years it’s 2019. I am still Trying To Conceive with some WONDERFUL support by my side these days- Ladies, support makes ALL the difference in the world!
My Original Version of this blog published about a year ago... Those of you who watch This Is Us (if you haven’t caught up on this season- SPOILER ALERT) , Kate is finally pregnant! Win for us plus size ladies!
But I still want to leave this section in here... because I think those episodes still hit home for many of us...
“A recent episode of the popular series This Is Us brought the topic up all over again. Now that Kate lost her baby- does that mean there is no hope for plus sized women? Even though the show did not reveal the reasoning behind Kate’s miscarriage, I can’t help but wonder how many people watching this show blamed it all on her weight. Clinically-Defined Obesity is believed to increase the chances of Gestational Diabetes, Pre-Eclampsia, and Miscarriage after all, right?”
In light of this episode and many others like it, I think it is absolutely essential that women know that though it is true that these issues can affect plus size expectant mothers- they can also affect expecting women of all shapes and sizes, many times without warning. And while we are talking about all expecting women, ALL expecting women can have a healthy pregnancy and a perfectly healthy baby- not just those who’s BMI fits the “normal” part of the bill.
Let me get one thing straight with you folks who have read thus far… It is ABSOLUTELY a fact and a very important one at that…
**PLUS SIZE WOMEN DO GET PREGNANT AND DO HAVE VERY HEALTHY PREGNANCIES AND BABIES**
Beyond that- Plus Size Women deserve beautiful maternity photos where they look GORGEOUS!! (I KNOW SOME AWESOME SIZE FRIENDLY PHOTOGRAPHERS LADIES!) They deserve to birth safely their way- whatever way that is. They deserve AWESOME Maternity Clothes!! They deserve to Nurse and Baby Wear without ANY shame or judgement attached. THEY DESERVE TO BINGE ON ICE CREAM EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE JUST LIKE EVERY PREGNANT WOMAN! They deserve VBAC’s and Home Births, Midwives and Doulas. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, we MUST remember that ALL pregnant women deserve support. Unconditionally. No matter their size- they are worthy of all things that make them the beautiful women and mothers that they are and deserve ALL of the joy that support brings along with it.
RANT OVER- IT GOT REAL… AND I’M REALLY GLAD WE GOT IT OUT THERE!
(OK- I got it out there- but you read it… so share it and help me spread the word!)
If you have read this far… I am guessing you might be a bit curvy like me… Or maybe you are a birth worker or someone close to you is pregnant or trying to start a family in that boat. If so, CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW to get a FREE Size Friendly Care Providers Guide to help connect you or someone close to you with a size friendly provider in your area!
I strive to be a plus size friendly doula and I support a woman’s right to birth HER way and not be judged no matter her size, shape or color. If you or someone you know is not receiving the support they deserve- PLEASE contact me. I will do my best to help support in any way I am able or help find local support that shares my beliefs!
Wishing You The Best In Birth!
Mississippi Baby Company